Separated By Miles – A Sister from Another Mister (& Misses)
Putting it out there to meet new people -from fitting into to a new community or group of friends while trying to re-establish your identity when you are not sure of who or where you are anymore has its challenges. When I first arrived in Raleigh, I really didn’t know where to start. I had thought that people would be knocking at my door and inviting me over for sweet tea but that didn’t happen immediately. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised as Raleigh is just like any other city, with transient families arriving and departing regularly. Despite not having instantaneous friendships next door, I managed to meet some really nice and welcoming people in my journey. From my friends I met at PTA, including a very good one who got me to join a gym, all because I went to a meeting. To my neighbor who I met at the pool who always invites me to things and to some fantastic people I met all because I put myself in new situations – as difficult as that was. I never had a problem meeting people before but I felt had lost my sea legs when I arrived. Through a couple of false starts and stalls, it has become much easier. A few of these people, I feel I’ve known much longer than a few months. We met a family from Long Island, living in a town around the corner from my old neighborhood and wouldn’t have met them, had I not ventured out of my familiar territory. There was an immediate connection that our families felt, and perhaps it is because we are going through all the challenges of immersing ourselves into a new community at the same time. I am forever grateful that my circumstances brought me to this other family.
In the course of exploration, I met another friend whose life stands out for the remarkable parallel one she’s lived without me – yes, I know it is hard to believe. Not only are our features incredibly similar, but certain characteristics, behaviors, and other oddities make me wonder why we were separated by miles when we were growing up.
Jen, opened up her life to me when we first arrived in Raleigh and I’ve been grateful ever since. A transplant herself of 6 years, she has the unique perspective of understanding the challenges that I face as an individual, mother and spouse navigating uncharted waters, err, land, since I live in central North Carolina. She too gave up her job when she moved here and was left wondering “where do I start?” From our first lunch to subsequently having our families spend time together, we are both amazed at our resemblance to one another. Even our skeptical husbands feel that we might be sisters from another mister (and misses).
Our similarities are beyond the physical. We both are petite with brown hair (OK so mine is chemically maintained) glasses and wit beyond measure. We drive the same mechanically challenged cars and so do our spouses, my son is the same age as her eldest and both of us were a little freaked out when we realized we selected the same flower arrangement at our own weddings. I am amazed that our similarities have gone beyond the norm and I am convinced that we were meant to be friends. The circumstances of relocation and proximity have me wondering if this is purely coincidental. I am beginning to believe I was meant to have her in my life by divine intervention, and that might be true since our Rabbi introduced us. We laugh at the same jokes, cry at the same movies and our brother’s name is the same! I am sure that wherever we go in the future, I am positive that she will be living in a parallel universe!
Meeting friends who have made an indelible impression on your life is pretty amazing and making new connections can add so much to your daily existence. With those that I have met so far, common ground is only the tip of the iceberg. It has made it much easier to accept North Carolina as my new, dare I say, home.