Change

Change is hard.  Whatever the reason for dramatically changing something must be that important for you to make the decision. Leaving your hometown, a city, state, relationship or job takes an inordinate amount of time, energy, and emotional toll.  While leaving symbolizes an end of something, the flip side is that you when leave, it is the beginning of something new. I have to remind myself of this on a regular basis.

Throughout my adult life, I've faced challenging decisions about whether to stay or leave. Second-guessing is a natural aspect of making difficult choices, and as I look back on my youth, the decisions I've made have brought me to this moment—a time to celebrate my achievements, overcoming challenges, moving forward, and rising above the turmoil. Did I cause some chaos along the way? While I hope not, I am sure that my desire for change has sparked and ignited things.

Departing from Huntington, NY when my son was 10, with my parents just a few miles away, was undoubtedly the toughest decision we made. My husband, son, and I left behind a comfortable life, a wonderful neighborhood, a pleasant workplace, and lifelong friends and family nearby. Our life was good, yet we knew there was more for us to explore. It took years to fully overcome the loss and appreciate all that we had gained: a new life, new house, new friends, new community, new everything. While I fully acknowledge how challenging it was, I would not trade the hardship of adapting to my new environment or the multitude of tears I shed. I know I am a stronger person for having lived through such a change. We left our comfortable surroundings in search of something new, something better for our lives, for our growth, both professionally and personally. The challenge was daunting, and the unknown was equally terrifying.

Leaving a relationship or a job can be just as challenging. Whether it's because the situation is toxic, unfulfilling, or no longer meets your needs, difficult choices must be made. Once you come to this realization and make a decisive decision, knowing your employment is ending can lead to second-guessing if you're making the right move. If you knew my work history, you'd see that I speak from experience, having moved around a bit in my younger years. Seeking a better-paying position, more responsibility, additional benefits, or greater security often drives the decision to leave one place for another. The saying "It's easier to find a job when you have one" holds some truth, though I never adhered to it. I'm not sure if I would label myself a risk-taker or someone who acts without a safety net, but I certainly took some chances along the way. Freelancing, temporary roles, relocating to another state, mismatched job fits, or caring for ailing parents were some of the factors I considered when contemplating leaving a job.

Choosing to leave my current job ranks among the most challenging decisions I've made. The phrase “They don’t call it work for nothing” truly resonates with me. Work IS work, and after a career dedicated to planning and executing trade shows, conferences, symposia, and educational programs, it's time to hang up my hat. For various reasons, the decision to leave has been filled with “what ifs,” such as what if I'm making the wrong choice, what if my husband loses his job, and what if I end up bored to tears. I've never felt comfortable not striving for more—more money, more authority, more independence, more recognition, and most importantly, more acknowledgment of my value. It took me an exceptionally long time to figure out this last point, and now that I've reached this important realization, I'm unwilling to settle for less than that.

However, as I pen these words, none of those factors are why I am departing from my current job. In my pursuit of all the aforementioned, I had a realization—I no longer wish to continue doing what I've been instinctively doing and what has been a part of my life for decades. It's quite a dilemma. It goes without saying that I am keenly aware of my value at what will soon be my former organization. I also understand that there are limitations in how the organization can express their appreciation.

It's a crucial and valuable lesson for anyone in corporate America to learn that employees are considered capital, an expense. In business (and life), you cut your losses. My own loss will be significant—the loss of my salary, my contributions, my colleagues, and the sense of being part of a team will resonate with me long after my final day. After giving my all throughout my career, keeping up with countless details has left me burnt out - I'm exhausted. I realize that the creative side of my brain needs encouragement, nurturing and time. I am eager to explore, to create, to discover what I'm capable of while I still have the energy. Although I consider the last 11 years (excluding the breaks to care for family members) a great success, my desire to move in a different direction made my departure inevitable. What I'm gaining is the freedom to explore, to develop a new skill, and to pursue a new path, even though a large part of me wants to play it safe. While I could second-guess my decision endlessly, I'm genuinely excited to see what's out there, embrace retirement, or write the bestselling novel I've only dreamed about. All I know for sure is that there will never be a perfect time to take a risk, so it's time to stop playing it safe.